Background
I first encountered Ann in an online post about rampant, local crime in early 2023. She proudly shared a sign that she’d recently purchased for her home. I thought the sign was hilarious and I was immediately struck by her fearlessness. From that initial post, I could immediately tell that she was a bad @$$ who meant business.
A commenter on that post urged women who were concerned about personal safety to check out a new women’s beginner pistol class. I signed up and eventually met Ann in person. We both continued on to the women’s level 2 pistol class. Independently, we both purchased guns and applied for concealed carry weapon (ccw) licenses around the same time. We’d planned to go to the range together but life happens. Ann was busy with school and I was busy with a new puppy.
When our ccw applications picked up traction, we reconnected and started going to the range together. When I got the idea to blog about my ccw journey and that of other women, I knew that Ann was the first person I wanted to interview.
Firearms and Firearm Experience
Jen: Did you grow up around firearms?
Ann: The only exposure I had to firearms was around my father, but he lived in a different state. So, I only got to hang out with him once or twice a year. But I remember in my twenties, he was showing me his gun collection and we went to the range and he showed me how to shoot.
Jen: Was that your first time shooting then, with him?
Ann: No, I remember being with some uncles on a trip to Memphis, Tennessee. They had me shoot a rifle. It was too powerful and I fell on the ground (laughing).
Jen: Oh no!
Ann: That was my first time shooting. I shot pistols, revolvers, and then rifles.
Jen: When you shot that rifle for the first time, did you enjoy it (apart from falling down)?
Ann: No. I was like, “who on earth would want to be knocked around by a gun?” I didn’t see the point. I was more of a girly-girl.
Jen: Okay then, I think I may know the answer to my next question, but I’ll ask anyway… Did you have any female role models growing up that owned firearms?
Jen: A couple of my mother’s friends talked about gun ownership, and more so the need for women to protect themselves. I remember even back then that they felt it was important for black women in particular. Black women weren’t protected in society; we weren’t looked out for. We were victimized more, etc. I remember hearing conversations about being independent and knowing how to protect yourself both physically and financially.
Jen: Okay, so as far as adult firearm experiences, did you ever go shooting with any friends, colleagues, anyone else for fun (prior to your ccw journey)?
Ann: No one other than my father and my brother. I didn’t mention that. About 10 years ago, I did go to the range with [my brother]; he’s in law enforcement.
Jen: Was it fun? Were you excited?
Ann: Yeah, I was starting to come around to it. It was exciting to be with him and to not be so bad at shooting and not be afraid. [It was nice to have] encouragement from my brother, instead of everybody laughing at me getting knocked down. So it was a different experience then. And then I was starting to think, maybe I’ll pursue getting my own gun.
Jen: When did you purchase your first firearm? What kind is it? And why did you choose it?
Ann: I got a Ruger .357 magnum revolver. I got it because I was having issues with someone in a family member’s life and it was starting to spill over into my household. I spoke to a police officer at the time and he said, “you know you’re entitled to have a gun for your home to protect yourself at home.” So, that’s when I got my first gun. It had to be about 10 years ago, maybe even more.
Jen: Did someone show you how to use it or train you on it?
Ann: Not really. I bought it in the store, and then went to the gun range with my husband at the time. He knew a little bit about guns. We were both kind of fumbling around, but he knew enough [about shooting].
Jen: More recently, you purchased a different firearm?
Ann: I wanted to be eventually able to carry. I didn’t think a revolver was gonna work for me. So I was interested in getting a 9mm. I’m left-handed and most guns didn’t work for me. [My pistol class instructors] introduced me to my P2000 – Heckler & Koch. The P2000 is for ambidextrous people. It was easy for me to learn and use.
Jen: What do you like best about it?
Ann: I’m comfortable with her now, I understand her, I can field strip her. I keep her really clean.
Jen: Is there anything you don’t like about it?
Ann: No, I love my gun. I was actually thinking about buying another one in another color just to have as a backup.
CCW
Jen: When did you first apply for ccw and what motivated you to apply?
Ann: February 2022. It was as a result of having some conversations with people about crime increasing and police decreasing, etc. I live in Oakland and there was a crime wave going on and I was starting to feel more and more unsafe. I’m a responsible gun owner and law abiding citizen, but I can’t really expect anyone to come and save me. But I’m also not gonna be a prisoner in my [own] home or be afraid to go out and live my life. So, I just decided, why don’t I give it a try?
Jen: Did you tell people about it at the beginning?
Ann: I told people about it, and they said, “Good luck with that.” In other words, “you’re never going to get it” because of the bureaucracy and the California anti-gun stances. But most people were really supportive [of me protecting myself]. But they all cautioned me and said, “don’t pull a gun out unless you’re planning to use it.”
Jen: How’d you go about training and preparing for your ccw license?
Ann: After I got my gun I didn’t really use it. Once Alameda County contacted me about starting the background investigation and things starting to pick up steam, I went to the gun range and got re-familiarized with my gun. I started watching videos on Youtube from gun experts. After going to the range, I started to see where I was [deficient.] I went to the range as much as I could and I was dry firing at home every day. I was on a leave of absence at that time, so I could spend the time. There were about 3 ranges that I was going to. I was going to the range about 5 times a week.
Jen: Wow, that’s impressive and expensive!
Finances
Jen: Let’s segue into finances, because owning a gun in California is not cheap. If you had to guess, how much money do you think you spent roughly during the process ( application psych, exam, pistol, ammo, range fees, gear and training)?
Ann: Over a couple thousand with all the fees. The Psycheval was probably the most expensive part (~$400), but then all the [ammo]. Range fees (~$25) were a lot because I was going 5 days a week.
And then, as it got to the point where I got approved for my license, I was trying to figure out how I’m going to carry. So, I have 3 different holsters. And then a bunch of different new clothes to try to figure out how not to print when I’m carrying. So, I’m still spending money. I couldn’t find a good way to not have my gun show with my existing clothes. I kept buying more, bigger and bigger-sized clothes. And then I found this new holster–the new enigma holster–that I’m gonna give a try. I’m hoping [it works].
Jen: Is it a belly band?
Ann: Well, the enigma is around the body, and it has a leg strap and you can dial it into where it fits really snugly. And that’s what I’m hoping will work. The other ones [for ladies] unfortunately, are made to go under your clothes. So, they don’t really fit my wardrobe. With the enigma, I can get to it, no matter what I wear.
Surprises
Jen: What were some things that surprised you the most about the ccw process?
Ann: I don’t think I internalized it at how much risk there is to carrying a gun for your self-defense. They talk about surviving the fight, you know, which means that you were in imminent danger of life threatening kind of violence against you. [Even though] you survived, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t go to jail. And even if you are found [innocent] and your situation was a lawful, self-defense event, you could be sued civilly.
At one point I considered not pursuing this because it seems like the cards are just stacked against you. But then I decided to go ahead and pursue it. I figured I’m smart enough to operate within the law. And that if I train, I’ll be able to keep my head. And that would give me a chance because crime isn’t gonna change. I have to be prepared for what could happen.
Jen: Did ccw insurance help ease your concerns?
Ann: To some degree it did. I mean, you know I hope to never have to use it. But I definitely think it’s a necessity (to have someone represent me and not have to come out of pocket or sell my house in order to defend mysel) If there wasn’t carry insurance, I don’t think I would [carry concealed].
Alameda County Range Qualification
Jen: Tell me more about your ccw class and range qualification (qual). What was the ratio of men to women? Were you the only woman? And were you the only woman of color?
Ann: There were 14 people, 3 were women and I was the only African American woman. There was an African American man.
Jen: I’m sure passing the qualls probably did a lot to boost your confidence.
Ann: [It did]. There were at least 4 people that failed.
Jen: 👀 Bummer.
Side note: I forgot to mention that Ann passed her range qual after standing up for 8 hours in 100 degree weather. (Please don’t let this deter you. Some instructors use indoor ranges for the qual portion of the ccw class.)
I also need to point out that Alameda County (but not Contra Costa County) allows ccw applicants to use a red dot for the range qualification. Shooting a target from 25 yards is much easier if all you have to do is focus on the red dot and shoot. Ann passed her qualification using only her gun’s sites. No red dot. She is the walking definition of bad @$$!
Timeline
Jen: From start to finish, how long did it take to get your ccw license in California?
Ann:Two years. I paid my application, updated my documentation, and then I waited for over a year and a half. I think things picked up at 18 months and went really fast towards the end.
Jen: Again, congratulations! How does it feel to be able to legally carry concealed in California?
Ann: I’m a little anxious about it because I wanna make sure that I’ve got my wardrobe right, so that it’s truly and fully concealed. I think the part that’s most gives me the most anxiety is the laws on where and where you cannot carry. You might be out doing your errands, stumble upon an area where you can’t carry, and then you’ve got to alter your plans, or take the gun off and store it securely in your car without anyone seeing. I haven’t done that yet, but that’s the part that makes me a little nervous.
Life After CCW
Jen: How has becoming a licensed ccw license holder changed you?
Ann: I do feel empowered and I want to empower other women. I think
It’s caused me to think more critically about my own safety and the safety of my family. Before I felt like [there was a possibility] that I might end up a victim of violence. But now I feel like I have a chance. I’m also more self aware and know how to avoid [becoming a victim], because I’ve gone through scenarios in my head and I have a plan. [I’m not] full of anxiety about crime in general, so I can go ahead and move about my life with more confidence.
Jen: So now that you are a licensed ccw license holder, what do your friends and family have to day? Also your colleagues, or anyone else, that you may have told.
Ann: So I’ve not told anybody at work about my ccw. And I don’t plan to, because I know that not everybody supports gun ownership.
Jen: Wise woman. I wish I could go back and untell a few people. Lol!
Ann: I did announce it to my friends on [social media] because there were a couple of other people that were doing the same thing in different States. And I got a lot of encouragement from them.
Ann: And then my family, my sister is starting, now, too. She went to the range just recently. She might pursue a ccw, but right now she’s just getting comfortable shooting.
Advice
Jen: What would you say to other women who are on the fence about applying for their ccw licenses?
Ann: I think having a ccw is part of a more holistic plan for being safe. I feel like you can’t insulate yourself as much as you might think. You have to get out in the world. And if you want to enjoy it, you just have to be prepared. It does require you to think differently and move differently.
Also, getting [your ccw] is not a small decision. You have to decide whether you want to be a defender or protector in your home or of your own body. Or do you want others to do that for you? If you have a husband, for example, that protects the home that might be good enough for most women. But even though I’m in a relationship, there’s no one else in the house that could defend my home. So it has to be me, and I don’t usually leave matters of personal safety to other people.
My advice is, “figure out who you are and who you plan to be. And do you want to be prey for predators or a victim?” The statistics say all of us are going to experience something in our lifetime, and I certainly have.
Jen: And what about women who don’t necessarily want to get a concealed carry license, but are maybe on the fence about just gun ownership in general. What would you say to them?
Ann: I think one of the first steps is to decide whether you want a gun in the home or not. [For some], arming yourself inside your home may be all that you need. So that’s what I would recommend to women. And if you’re gonna have a gun in the home, then you need to know how to use it, and you need to take it out and fire it and become comfortable with it. So it is more of a commitment than just buying a gun.
2A or Not 2A
Jen: Before you started on your ccw. Journey. Did you consider yourself to be 2A or pro-2A? And what about now?
Ann: I would say that I was 2A. Having gone through this process and seen the litigation, and how laws are enacted, and how different States view gun ownership, I’m even more 2A now. I believe that citizens have a right to protect themselves with a gun. And the bad guys don’t follow laws. So a lot of the laws intended to protect citizens actually hurt us because they are trying to disarm us and to try to restrict how we, how we carry and use our guns. Concealed carry holders, we’re the most law abiding citizens and most trained citizens ever. But we’re quite restricted in our ability to be able to defend ourselves. [Recently] I saw a class of 10 other African American women there who were training to shoot. So that was real, encouraging. I’m fully supportive of everybody starting this same journey.
Looking forward
Jen: What’s next for you? What are your goals related to gun ownership or ccw?
Ann: I’m kind of nearing retirement and I’ll be spending more free time elsewhere and hopefully traveling. So my next goal is to get my ccw for the other 37 States where there’s reciprocity. I also have some training goals. [Obtaining a ccw license requires] the bare minimum of training. You have to do more than that. That means repetition, and more training, and more situational scenarios. I want to be able to shoot on the move and be more proficient with my gun. I’m just gonna keep training.
Jen: Thank you so much, Ann! I appreciate you doing this interview. Thank you for being such an encouragement and such a great role model! I look forward to learning more about your ccw journey.
Leave a Reply